There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
