Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Your penis caused this!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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