I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
