I don't think brook has ever known best
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
