Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
