I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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