You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
