did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
