so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
