This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
