like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
