Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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