I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She swung at the pinata with crutches
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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