I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
