you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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