is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
