When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
