Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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