OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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