She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
