Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
