I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
