you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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