She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
