Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
