Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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