It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
