She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
