No awkward lesbian experiences without me
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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