i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Panties = found
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
