the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
