That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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