he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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