once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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