I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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