how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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