one word: firstdatebathroomanal
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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