if you like me you must not know who I am
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
