why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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