margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
