that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
