Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
don't judge my taste in strippers
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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