You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I cut my penus on the lid.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
