You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
