Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
