I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
