he thought i was a dude.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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