You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
