I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
