My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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