Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
we should paint friendship bongs
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
