don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
