just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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